How to talk to a loved one about starting palliative care: A compassionate guide for caregivers

If your loved one is facing a serious illness and may benefit from palliative care, whether it's been recommended by their doctor or health plan, there are thoughtful and supportive ways to begin that care discussion.

Approaching this palliative care conversation with empathy and patience can improve connection and understanding. Palliative care offers comfort and dignity; it's a proactive step toward better support for your loved one and yourself.
 

Question: What is palliative care? Is it hospice? Does it mean end-of-life care?

Answer: Palliative care is a type of medical care for people living with serious illnesses. It focuses on relieving symptoms, improving emotional and psychological well-being, and supporting both patients and caregivers.

Palliative care is not hospice or end-of-life care. It can be provided at any stage of illness alongside a patient’s continuing curative treatments. Palliative care also takes the burden off the caregiver by providing an extra layer of support to them and their loved one as they navigate challenges.
 

Question: What are the benefits of palliative care?

Answer:

• Relief from symptoms like pain, shortness of breath, and fatigue.
• Support for your emotional and mental health.
• Help with understanding treatment choices.
• Guidance for caregivers and family members.
• Better quality of life from feeling more comfortable and being able to do more.
• Help with advance care planning and understanding your healthcare goals.
• Potentially fewer visits to the emergency room and hospitalizations.
• Better communication and collaboration among your care team.
• Help with making medical decisions based on your goal.
• Higher satisfaction with care and less stress for you and your family.
   

Question: How should I prepare to talk to my loved one about palliative care?

Answer: Learn more about palliative care, reflect on your loved one’s values, choose a calm time and setting, and be prepared to listen. Use “I” statements to express concern and support.
 

Question: What are good ways to start the conversation?

Answer: You might say:

• “I've learned about palliative care and think it could really help you feel better. Can I share what I found?”
• “You've been going through a lot, and I want to make sure you're getting every kind of support available.”
   

Question: What if my loved one has concerns or misunderstandings about palliative care?

Answer: Gently correct misconceptions. For example, if your loved one says:

• “I’m not giving up!” you can say, “This isn’t about giving up; it’s about helping you feel better day to day.”
• “That’s only for people who are dying,” you can say, “Palliative care is for anyone with a serious illness—many people receive it for months or years.”
• “I already have a doctor,” you can reply, “Palliative care adds another layer of support and works with your current care team.”
   

Question: Are there palliative care tips for caregivers based on their loved one’s diagnosis?

Answer: Yes.

Cancer:

- Help them manage side effects from treatment, like nausea and tiredness.
- Try to ease their fear or uncertainty.
- Encourage advance care planning.

Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, or COPD:

- Help them learn to control feeling out of breath.
- Talk about ways to save energy.
- Work with their specialists, such as their lung doctor or palliative care doctor.

Alzheimer’s and other types of dementia:

- Focus on giving them comfort and building routines.
- Address changes in how they act or feel and caregiver stress.
- Start early planning with care team as their memory and thinking decline.

Congestive heart failure, or CHF:

- Watch for and take care of swelling and shortness of breath.
- Help them eat a healthy diet and take their medication.
- Ease their anxiety and fear from not knowing when symptoms will come.

Kidney, or renal, disease:

- Help them with changes to their diet and with their care plan.
- Watch out for symptoms like fatigue, itching, and loss of appetite.
- Plan for possible changes to their care plan, such as dialysis or conservative management.
 

Question: What is included with Carelon’s Palliative Care?

Answer: Our care team helps patients find care they need, create care goals, and make informed choices about their care.

We do this by:

- Managing symptoms and working with patients’ doctors: Our doctor-led care team delivers expert care that helps manage physical and emotional symptoms, such as pain, depression, anxiety, fatigue, shortness of breath, constipation, nausea, loss of appetite, and trouble sleeping. We also coordinate all care with the patient's specialists and other care providers.
- Communicating well: Talking clearly with patients and their families about future expectations is important to us. It ensures that the care provided matches the goals and priorities of patients and their families.
- Support for patients and families: Our care team makes time for important family and caregiver meetings and patient-family counseling. This can help patients manage their conditions and find relief from the symptoms, pain, and stress of serious illnesses. We also help caregivers help the patient by providing them care navigation and emotional support.

At Carelon, we work with nearby community care teams to provide palliative care. Our program includes:

- 24/7 help line staffed by clinicians.
- Disease and symptom management.
- Patient education regarding disease and medication.
- Completion of advance care planning.
- Efforts to reduce hospitalizations and ER visits.
- Enhancing patient and family satisfaction.

As advocates for patients and their families, we empower individuals to navigate the healthcare system and make informed choices regarding their care. We focus on educating patients about their illness, advising them on what to expect, assisting them with developing advance care planning, explaining treatment options, and developing and managing specific care goals.

Carelon Palliative Care helps patients have a better quality of life, respects their choices for their care, and addresses their complex health needs with compassion and expertise.
 

Question: What should I do next if my loved one is open to palliative care

Answer:

- Learn more about getting started with Carelon Palliative Care.
- Contact your health plan to understand whether palliative care services are available for your loved one.
- Help them prepare for their first palliative care appointment with a list of questions and preferences.
 

Question: What if my loved one is hesitant or not ready for palliative care yet?

Answer: Respect their views, don’t pressure them, and keep the door open for future talks.
 

Question: Where can I find more information about Carelon Palliative Care?

Answer:

- www.carelon.com/patients/palliative-care

 

Final Thoughts

Talking with a loved one about palliative care is an opportunity to offer support, compassion, and hope. It is not a one-time discussion, but rather an ongoing conversation rooted in empathy and trust. As a caregiver, you have an important role in helping your loved one understand their options, determine their goals, and receive care that prioritizes their comfort, dignity, and values.

Palliative care does not mean giving up. It means caring more intentionally, with a focus on quality of life. By approaching these conversations with openness and information, you help create a path toward greater peace of mind, better symptom management, and stronger connection during a challenging time.